WHY?

As we struggle with the things we cannot explain

We ask

Why God Why?

Why me?

Why my family?

Why God?

And as we sit there, tears streaming down our faces

It seems we wait an eternity for the answers

Closing off our hearts, putting our minds under lock and key

Anger swells like hot air in a balloon

And the balloon soars because heat rises

But there comes a point when it runs out, the balloon comes down

We realize that the anger has changed nothing.

The grass is still the same color green as when we took off

The faces of the people around us are still the same

Then appears the man who walks over to the balloon and releases the strings

Though the balloon leaves, the basket stays

Finally the light comes on

And we know now to let go

Let go, let go, let go, let go

And just as the heat of anger rises to the sky

Someday so will our spirits.

And they will mingle among the angels

Our sweet, luminescent angels

It soars finally because we let go

And we let God

We let go, we let God and we have faith

So have faith my friends, and your answers will come

Like a breeze over the ocean, like foot prints in the sand

A dream that feels so real we can smell and feel everything about us

You will sit up and thank God for keeping you

For he kept you, because you kept faith in him

For Jillian

Brought together, you and I

Trial and error carry us around the bend

Time and time again

Kindred are we

Souls and spirits that seem to fit just right

Beautiful

Like a rose our friendship blooms

 Aligns our lives just so

Beautiful

The memories, the mistakes, and the time we spend

Hours and hours

On the phone

Late at night, I in my city, you in yours

As I pray for you, knowing your faults

Praying for you to love yourself again

Beautiful

Is our loyalty in one another

For we know livid or not

When we look for someone to need us

For someone to believe in us

We need only to look at each other

And we will know

Friends were we then

Friends are we now

Friends we will forever be

Beautiful

Friends forever we will be

Keeping Faith

With each breath, my heart aches for you

I close my eyes, imagining I am in the midst of you

Taking the hurt away

Spiraling in the other direction I open them once more

This time I witness him crossing that stage proud, a man strong and true

At times my head argues with my heart

But to you Lord, I stay true

My faith growing strong day after day

Knowing that I am far and wide

Each moment in time I am looked-for

So I’ve tied a thread about my heart precious Lord

As I wait to be guided by you; my healer

The healer of my spirit, my mind, my soul

And I know you are there for the seen

For the unseen

You humble me dear lord

You have molded me into an instrument

An instrument that is heard athwart the earth

From sea to radiant sea

And I find myself in awe

For I will in no way miss a thing

As I deem you as my portion

Jesus, you are all I require

Over it

The road is extensive, twisting

Narrow, tough and exact

The struggles are irrelevant

As I know that I am candid in all that I do

Its over

The torturing myself

The fixing

The division that was caused

The breach that cannot be mended

Dealt by the utmost of all traitors

The pain, the clouds cast about my head

Gone now; the need to plead

For my hands and feet are guided by heavens’ holiest of the holy

Vanished now is the desperation, the urgency to make believers out of naught

My smile is that of poise

A smile pointedly a demonstration of my faith in the lord

 Those who cast bread upon the water

Best prepare themselves for the remnants to return

At last, it is done, over, finished

I march straight of spine, spirit high

For god’s love is vast

Greater than the Foley that falls about us

to a forever mother

 Small shallow breaths

To slow the rapid beats

Of my broken heart

Forever seeking a moment that

Will forever be just out of reach

A physical loss of the life of a child

A child never born

But who lived inside the womb and heart

Of a forever mother

Never forgotten

Remembered forever and always

A mother’s undying love

A constant vigil

For

What will always be

The life of a child never made imperfect

And so I will forever remember loving you

A soul untouched

By a world driven by pride

A spirit in its purest form

Free to look down upon us

Free to watch as we grow

And ready ourselves to meet our maker

And he smiles

My angel child spirit

As he knows that he will be but a season remembered

Lord take my hand

As I feel myself falling into the sadness

In the still of the quiet

With each breath

With the steady rhythm of my heart

I will remember you

A memory still

A memory always you’ll be

Forever perfect

In the still quiet moments

Forever small, forever a dream

A perfect forever dream

For the Broken

Part 1

Gone, I’ve vanished

Shadows, desolate and bitter

White smoke numbs the cry

But the tears that run down my face

Are hotter than any flame

Pictures of her haunt me

Guns and grenades didn’t aid

I’ve run from one side of the game to the other

No forgetting

The ache in my chest

Seems to take hold of my mind

My every thought

I wish desperately for Novocain

To take hold of my mind

To help me forget

Part 2

I see you

Oh desperate one

Reach for me

I’ll pull you out of the hole you think you’ve dug

Not an angel but a human being

Beating heart in rhythm to the sting you suffer

Take a bough

Run no more

No Novocain

What you seek

You will find

In the arms of the Lord

The Desparate Man

As I lay absent

I know not what I’ve done

Rapt in the soil of what is human

When all I desire is sovereignty

Toil and turn

Howling out for mercy

No one hears me

As you all are beside me

You weep as if I suffer

Oh I was, I did for an era

But it was your prayers that has stayed me

Two spirits, one body, one soul

My eyes open

And I stare past the weeping ones

My eyes open

I see you

And as my body lies in suffer

You reach for me

You seize me from the pain

From the chaos

You are the hurricane

I am the tree

And I bend

As I finally feel your love

Wash over me

And I finally have peace

A peace I tried in desperation to find here

When all along

All I had to do was open my eyes

I see you now

And you are beautiful